Response to angela

The meaning of life part really kills me.(lol i just reread that 3 times lol) I've had since i was 7, but still I cant find a legit emit reason to live other then for my family and friends, so that then wont feel the pain of me dieing..... but all the others just fall into place easy. By the way Angela conversion is like having a being with a person for all of your life and always believing that they tell the truth and would never cheat. Then one day your walking along and you see them making out with another person. At first your like what the hell! Then you start on the, maybe it wasn't him/her or it was actually there cousin and there just really friendly. After this you go, well maybe this was just a one time thing, or you realize that THEY WERE FREAKING LYING ALL THE TIME~!

It hurts really really bad, then theres the depression part, but you move on. Life doesn't need a purpose because just to live, even if its for a second, is wondrous.

Now for a little activity! Go outside after dark, get in your car and drive to the highest point you can where it is the darkest(ojai is perfect but there are better places near you like the top of petit or hell just drive along foothill road away from ventura.) Get out of your car, and look away from the city. That is life. Its wild. Its crazy. It has no meaning and needs none. Because it is different for every person,animal,object,idea, and particle. Its not fair, but its not trying to be mean. Thats just how it is. No intent. No dislike. Its just how it is wild,crazy, peaceful, and awesome down to the last drop. But when the cups empty, sadly, the cups empty and theres no free refills.

omg omg momg mogmogopomogfinjhozdfs slkgh qwe[ptfouweif jkse dfkuhwsdahfkjsdhkjhjjjasdhfjkhsdjafkhdskh
I am so happy!!!!!!! I dont have to liv eiin a stink pit!!!!!!!! im freeeee!!!!!!! this is so wonderful i cant even explain the joy im feeling!!!! omg omg omg omg its like dountus and sprinkles and kittens and rainbows with unicorns and lightsabers cutting thruogh all of them1!!!!1!
edit: I still cant stop shaking because im so happy, I dont have to live with my mom anymore and my dad is aproving of it so im freeeeeee omg its so awsum idc if i cant live at my friends lucs house or if any of that shit im freeeee

busy, not busy, bored

so latly I have been neglecting my blog :/ which i feel bad about, so im updating! I found some awsum sites, and im currently looking for this one girl whom I love, and she has no online footprint,and isnt in the whitepages and I have no way of contacting her...but the site i found is called Pandora Radio which is really awsum :D but besides that I'm just struggeling to find this person who I love and she Loves me back. If only there was a google for people..... ZING! Next big idea! Well for the rest of the week the ubjective is to hangout with andrew! :p which is alot harder then it sounds.... but i will acomplish it! Anyways im getting tired so im gonna hit the hay soon but heres a pic so you'll have something to think about btw that is hanners,you will be seeing alot more of her because she is awsum and because i lazy and hate mspaint, also that is what it feels like to have a mind rush! ni nite!

A STAR HAS FALLEN FROM THE SKY

HE WAS A MAN AMONG GIANTS,A MAN WHO KNEW HOW TO BE CLEAN MORALLY AND LITERALLY, A FATHER TO CAPITALISM, A CONTRIBUTOR TO THE MORAL STANDING IN AMERICA, AND A MAN WHO HELPED US WHEN WE WERE DOWN!

Good night sweet prince forever we will look to the hills and see the candle light that is your memory and see the hope that you brought us.

BILLY MAYS
Father
Salesmen
Dream maker
July 20, 1958 – June 28, 2009
Go in peace to the hills where it is greener and let the world know of the wonders of life, for son you have been blessed in seeing them.

Idiots and arnold

Ok so recently i went to take the chspe which went very badly, but I will tell about it because it proves a point I have been ranting about for a long time!

So i woke up at 6am when I had to be there at 8am, got up brushed my teeth, you know the normal thing.I eat 2 bananas and drink a can of coke, which in retrospect wasn't a good idea, and rush my mom to get into the car so she could drive me.

Hold on I'm rushing this a little so I'll have to back up to the day before. So the problem of the day was how to get a picture ID in one day without expending a lot of resources and bribing a couple of people. So I got on the phone and started calling around all over the place. The dmv couldn't give me a California ID in one day, the lady manning the phones told me I'd be lucky to get inside and request for an apointment to get an ID that day, (my hearts go out to the dmv workers, because they have one hell of a job and dont get paid nearly enough, thanks arnold) so i called my old school and then wernt open. So I called the distrect office and this is where the fun began! "Hello, blank unified school distract, where may I derect your call?" said the phone to my ear. I kindly responded to the big chunck of plastic,metal, and ruber "Hello I would like to speak to a department that would help me in getting an ID card for a test I have to take tomorrow!"
The plastic chunck responded with a huff " Alright sir I'll direct you to employe mangement!"
Which I Kindly started saying "I am not an employe" but the plastic had other things to do so I waited untill another voice came out of the plastic, but before it could force its ideas of why I was there on me I told it that I needed the operator again and it transfered me. So i waited till she answered and kindly told it I was a student So it sent me to records. which were out to lunch, so i left a message and waited 45 mins for a ringing sound that didnt come.

So i called back and waited for the operator to listen and send me to records, which picked up on the 4th call. "Hello records" "Hi i need an ID made out so I can go take a test tomorrow, and my school isnt open so I can't get one from them!" "Ok come down to the office and we'll noterize apicture of you." said the cheerful lady. So I waited for my mom to come and pick me up. When we got there it took us 20 minutes to find records, because they merged it with accounting because of buget cuts (thanks again arnold), and another 20 minutes to even get noticed. Finally after me getting angry and using choice words with the lady maning the phones, she went to ask her boss to noterize a picture of me which I took before my mom picked me up.
Finally she came back with a picture that I think I will regret for along time of me in the 6th grade, and informed me that she had to use "offical" photos only and that it would be alright that i grew 18 inches and didnt have any hair. I just went along with it because i was tired of arguing with idiots who should have been fired for their lack of comon sense and lack of just how important some things can be.

So the next day after a long drive to the middle of nowhere my mom droped me off with about 300 hundered kids waiting to get into the test. So I waited an hour to get up to the front of my line (there were 3 lines of which mine was the fastest) I pulled the picture out and handed it to the irrate atendent, after which he told me to step aside but not with the other 2 boys. (one of them was black, and the other was mexican, this will become aparent later as to why im menttioning their race) I wait for the last 50 students to file through the line and then the angry attendent comes over and asks where i got this thing I call an ID. I quickly Tl;Dr him what happened to me and he takes out his phone and calls up the main office, of which is called THE OFFICE OF THE ALL IMPORTANT TEST GOD. When he's done talking into his radioactive platic cancer device he looks over at the mexican kid and tells him to go inside for the test for which he didnt have an ID. He looks over at me and the black kid and says " you cant take the test because you dont have IDs huurr durrr." Then he sepperates and gives us forms to fill out so we can reschudle our testing for a later date!

I have been waiting for 5 months to take this test, and I went through a lot of bullshit to get there and now a man with fake hair and a massivly over inflated ego is telling me I can't because im not mexican? I am still pised to the point of wanting to tie him down and give him a dose of perspective and watch that obliterate his soul, but in stead I filled out the form and shoved it to the lady waiting for it quickly I tured around and jump kick the door open to the outside world, which kindly smashed into the wall with a nice loud thud. After that I walked a mile to the nearest gas staion to use the payphone to call me friend to call my mom so she could pick me up.

Personally I think I handled this all very well!

Not that anyone will read this (peter if you are great and thx at least i kno my writing will be read by something other then the FBI or what ever kinda of internet screening thing they have for blogs) but I'd like to update this once a day, mostly this will be kinda like a diary. Me just throwing random shit out the door that seems to be my crowding head. Also this will s as a mood journal for what ever reason anyone would need one.
Currently best friends in the world is mad at me for being as I am, which is human nature(Or so it has seemed to me that others dont like things they dont understand/ are different then their world view) , and im hating it. It hurts to see your first ture friend reject you, but thats ok if he wants to he has every right, but heres a little insight into the problem.

12:35pmWilliam

yo

sup dawg?

12:36pmTamara

heyyy

12:37pmWilliam

i've decided to update my blog once a day

:p

12:37pmTamara

interesting

12:37pmWilliam

not really

12:37pmTamara

duh

lol

12:38pmWilliam

it'll just be a big mismatched jumble of ifno about unimportent things that you we never see hear of or doing anything about

kinda like the news

12:39pmTamara

hahaha

awesome

12:39pmWilliam

can you ask andrew if he not being emo and would mind i f came over there

i iz bored

*I

12:40pmTamara

nathan is here

12:42pmWilliam

idc

its funner when he is :p

12:43pmTamara

lol

12:43pmWilliam

and i have nothing to do but sit in a house by myself

12:43pmTamara

sigh no

""

12:43pmWilliam

which means yes :D

12:43pmTamara

which means no

12:43pmWilliam

which means yes :d

he cant avoid me all summer

12:44pmTamara

judy said theres already someone here

12:44pmWilliam

>.> riiight what ever

12:44pmTamara

is andrew mad at u? o.O

12:44pmWilliam

idk

thats why im pissed/sad/anrgy/hyper

12:45pmTamara

hmm

i have no idea y he's "avoiding" u

how weird...

12:45pmWilliam

nither i and thats what is pissing me off

12:46pmTamara

hmm

12:46pmWilliam

if he just come out and tell me i'd be fine but him just not talking or seeing me is driving me CRAZY

*told

12:48pmWilliam

is it because im an atheist? is it because i stink and dont shower alot, is it because i made him mad some how and just dont kno it, WHY?

12:48pmTamara

its because ur an atheist

he's like...

12:49pmWilliam

his brothers an atheist

i can just not talk about it

12:49pmTamara

"he's annoying!" and im like "and nathan's not?" he's like "he is, but nathan isnt an atheist and will talks about religion topics ALL the time"

12:50pmWilliam

but thats beside the point andrew has to realize that there are people with opinions other then his or like his

12:50pmTamara

he told me not to tell u, but i think its good for u to know so u can know, ya know?

12:50pmWilliam

yeah

12:51pmTamara

so yeah. i guess if u just treat the whole religion thing as highly as possible and just not talk about it, then you guys should be fine

12:53pmWilliam

-_-# i never said that religion isnt possible its just that, its like denying your self of being your self

is peter awake?

12:54pmTamara

nope

lol

12:54pmWilliam

great

12:54pmTamara

no, i mean treat it as highly as possible meaning just respect his views

12:55pmWilliam

I do respect his views o.O

I just try and see how he got them...

12:55pmTamara

kay then... good

lol

12:56pmWilliam

its like growing up with out the color red

12:56pmTamara

o.O

12:56pmWilliam

and then you come out into the world and everone is wearing red

and you have to wonder why is red so good and why are they all wearing red

and everyone is trying to get you to wear red even though you like blue

12:58pmTamara

interesting metaphor

12:58pmWilliam

and the people your closest with are trying to get you to wear red

and you just cant figure out why everyone wears red

12:59pmTamara

sooo.. andrew is trying to get u to wear red?

1:00pmWilliam

no what im saying is that basically everyone i know is religious in some way and im not, and they all see that as a problem to be fixed or avoided

when i just wanna be

he gets to voice his opinions but i have to be quite

1:01pmTamara

awww. poor wheel

1:01pmWilliam

this is really what its like to be an atheist

1:03pmTamara

well, lds ppl r taught to accept, if not support other religions (or lack thereof). so i dont see y andrew takes so much offense in u talking about atheist.

*atheistness

lol

1:03pmWilliam

idk people tend to see different as bad

if you dont mind im gonna put this in my blog

do you mind?

1:04pmTamara

sure

childeren and learing

Well im just astounded, apparently a man taught a class of third graders what took me 2 weeks to learn in about 25 minutes. If only all teaching was like this done like this!

Tl;Dr I wish our teachers would teach in the Socratic method
link!

Hello World

Welcome to my blog, first I like to say hello to the one read i will have and ill start ranting as soon as this blog looks good.